Grief… Encountered

Grief Anticipated, Part 5

This morning I rushed off to have my car serviced and forgot my phone. Drove an hour to get to North Dallas, mostly through torrential rain. The first fifteen minutes in the dealership waiting area, I fiddled with my laptop, trying to get connected to their wi-fi. I deleted some ads, then answered one business email and, as soon as I sent it, found a new message waiting. The hospice nurse, unable to reach me, had called Brent to tell him that my Dad had passed away. I sat stupefied, staring at the screen. In that minute, all my recent efforts to ensure Dad’s comfort, the worry and planning and errands and phone calling I had done, became hugely irrelevant. As pointless as an umbrella in a tsunami.

And yet…

And yet…

Even as Dad is beyond reach of my help, he is also beyond need of it. In Glory, he is more spry than ever (he has probably gone for a good long swim by this time). He remembers everything now. Last week he couldn’t remember he had cancer. Now that he does, it doesn’t matter any more. In fact, he remembers all the sadness and loss, but these he understands, from his new perspective.

Dad, in his late teens

Fresh out of high school

He cannot come back to me, but I will get to see him again. In the meantime, while I know there are tears to come, I also have things to do here. May I make good use of the time I have left.

Thanks for reading,

About Jan C. Johnson

Welcome! If you like food, reading, laughing over life's little disasters, and maybe thinking about the bigger things of life, you have come to the right place. Besides blogging, I write humorous fiction, though real life tends to leave fictional humor in the shade. But I'm not a total goofball. No, really. I'm also working on a biography project. I live in North Texas with my husband, Brent. We enjoy bicycling, Mexican food, and traveling to visit our kids and grandkids.
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12 Responses to Grief… Encountered

  1. diane says:

    (((Hugs))) and prays for you and your family.


  2. Jhona O. says:

    Thank you for sharing this so openly. It is so hard to let go and it is such a comfort to remember just what you wrote about knowing that our loved ones are in Glory and there is no more suffering for them. Lots to think about with this post. Many blessings to you on this day!


  3. LydiaCate says:

    So sorry for your loss! Will be praying for the peace and comfort and strength of our gracious God as you and your family miss your dad. Rejoicing with you that your dad is in the presence of the Father, restored and home!
    Thank you for the opportunity to pray for you this way!
    Blessings to you!


  4. Nemo says:

    I’m so sorry for your loss Jan.
    I know there are no words that can make this any easier… I send you the only thing I can from way over here… [huge_hug.exe]
    Will keep your family in prayer.
    God bless you and give you peace.


  5. Jen says:

    There are no words except that I am truly sorry for your loss. You and your family will be in my prayers as you go through this time.


  6. Marie says:

    Ah, your words come straight from my heart….my daddy left us 4 months ago….it seems like forever…I miss him so.


  7. Star says:

    I am so sorry for your loss! I know that no words I can say can help you write now but I am praying that you will feel the power of the Lord sustaining and comforting you right now!


  8. Zoanna says:

    I am so sorry to hear your sad, sad news. May you feel God’s presence near and dear at this moment.


  9. Jan says:

    To my kind friends,
    Your warm expressions of sympathy have truly lifted me up today. I love me some Company Girls!


  10. So sorry for your loss. I will be praying for you and your family during as you grieve your dad. Your willingness to reach out and help me during your time of grief means so much.


  11. Pastor Tim says:

    Linda & I are also sorry to hear about dad’s leaving but rejoice with you in his arrival in the presence of the Father.


  12. Pingback: A Long Moment of Silence | Joywriting: Everybody Has a Story

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