Thou Shalt Not Kale

Here's some kale. Eww.

Here’s some kale. Eww.

I’d heard of kale for years. Despite its forbidding appearance, it was supposed to be super nutritious. In fact, some people sort of act like it’s The Only Healthy Food In The World.

But try it for myself?

Naaaah, you go ahead. I’m good…

I mean, even the hilarious Jim Gaffigan, who normally directs his sarcasm at junk foods, makes fun of kale.

Still, I felt a little guilty. As much as I like vegetables in general, I just couldn’t bring myself to eat this supposed Mother-lode of Nutrition.

Well… one day last year I was in an airport, and needed a quick lunch before my flight. One of those convenience-store-type places seemed a logical place to look. Besides prefab sandwiches with too much mayo, they had healthy stuff: hummus and veggie trays and “naked” juice, which seems weird because isn’t the point of juicing that you don’t have to peel the fruit?

Wait, where was I?

Oh yeah, healthy stuff at the airport. This place also offered salads and fruit and such.

One item in particular caught my eye: Little tubs of “Chicken/Kale Salad.” It looked to be finely chopped, so I figured I wouldn’t have to gnaw on it too long. And the chicken would provide protein so I wouldn’t starve on the plane. Oooh, look, it has feta cheese…


I took my salad and drink to a relatively quiet spot and dug in.

It really wasn’t too bad, if you ignore the ominous dark grey-green color of the kale itself. The taste and texture brought to mind the perfect marriage of spinach and burlap, as if maybe the chef forgot to take the spinach out of the gunny sack before chopping it. And I enjoyed a virtuous glow, knowing I had finally partaken of the Mother-lode of Nutrition.

So, have I started buying kale and eating it at home?

Naaaah, you go ahead. I’m good.

Your Turn:
Do you ever feel peer-pressured to join in a health craze? Can anyone out there actually chew a bran muffin, or remember “tofutti?” Tell me about it in the “Leave a Reply” box below.

Thanks for reading,

About Jan C. Johnson

Welcome! If you like food, reading, laughing over life's little disasters, and maybe thinking about the bigger things of life, you have come to the right place. Besides blogging, I write humorous fiction, though real life tends to leave fictional humor in the shade. But I'm not a total goofball. No, really. I'm also working on a biography project. I live in North Texas with my husband, Brent. We enjoy bicycling, Mexican food, and traveling to visit our kids and grandkids.
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2 Responses to Thou Shalt Not Kale

  1. Donna Price says:

    David loves raw veggies, slaw and salad, but not me. I eat some because I know I need it. I feel like I chew and chew and chew. The other day I was eating salad and I finally said, “I think I have eaten enough grass”. I do not know why I said that, it just came out, but it was what it felt like I was eating.


    • Hi, Donna! Haha, I admit I’ve been known to refer to raw veggies as “lawn clippings,” myself! But only the tough ones. Can’t manage raw broccoli, for example, unless it’s shredded. Thanks for taking time to comment!


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