First, some of the chuckles I collected earlier. Here are two I found while grocery shopping: a very motivating sign in the ladies’ room, and a near-miss in my quest for “Hamburger” dill pickle chips.
Speaking of signs, here’s one for some really unappetizing “snacks,” then an unfortunate juxtaposition… maybe the dining area could’ve been placed a bit farther from the restrooms?
I love mailboxes with personality! Here are a couple of fine specimens: 1: Air Mail 2: Fish Mail.
From our recent trip to Sicily, 1: Oh, the seat in front of mine was broken. That’s why we weren’t seated together! 2: I didn’t think this gas station sign was funny, until I realized it depicted a fire-breathing dragon, NOT a cute dog catching a Frisbee. I didn’t count the legs, okay?
Okay, HERE, by popular demand, is the billboard that brought about my previous post:
Yeah, it may be a little grim, but I can’t help admiring such a clever business name.
I hope you’ve enjoyed a few laughs with me. At this writing, it’s December. Have a joyous, merry Christmas and all the other holidays you celebrate!
Y’all… I can be such a doofus! If you know me, you know I’m fueled by humor. Or I’m easily amused… whatever. Anyway, twice in the past I’ve posted photos of things I found hilarious or people who make me laugh.
Not long ago, I was riding my bike along an access road lined with industrial-type businesses–auto body shop, pipe yard, that sort of thing. There in front of me was a clever billboard. I’d driven by it on the highway several times, always wishing I could stop the car and take a photo for my next “make me laugh” post. But now I was on the access road. This was my chance, right?
Seeing nothing along this section except some scrubby bushes and a chain-link fence, I rode off the shoulder onto the gravel and stopped. “I won’t be in anyone’s way here,” I said. Too lazy to go lean my bike against the fence, I just stood over it and pulled out my phone. As I jockeyed around with the zoom, steadying the bike with one hand while trying to snap a photo with the other, an air horn honked directly behind me, as gently as an air horn can honk–which, I assure you, is not especially gentle.
Startled out of my wits, I bobbled the phone but miraculously did NOT drop it, then turned. There stood a whole 18-wheeler rig, right-hand turn signal flashing, with the driver giving me an apologetic grin and a shrug.
Seriously? HERE?
Flashing my own apologetic grin, I duck-walked the bike forward a few yards, barking my ankle bone only once. The truck pulled toward the fence. Where does he think he’s going? The driver hopped out, went to the fence, and opened this giant chain-link gate that I hadn’t noticed until just now.
Oh.
“I can’t pass up a funny billboard,” I explained, pointing to my would-be photography subject. He laughed, climbed back into the cab, and waved as he drove through the gate.
Self-inflicted traffic jam cleared, I took my photo and resumed my ride home.
I would show you the billboard, but I’m saving it for my next “Make Me Laugh” post.
Thanks for reading. And until next time, watch out for stealth 18-wheelers!
I just looked back and saw it’s been a whole year since I published a “Great Weekend Reads” post. I’ve read quite a few books, but have been holding out on you in the recommendation department. Well, now I’m making up for it–here is a three-fer, a series from the talented Kariss Lynch.
Book 1: Shaken. Recent college graduate Kaylan, marred by a tragic loss, wants safety more than anything–for herself and for everyone she cares about. But Nick, the man she’s growing to love, is a Navy SEAL. His team can never guarantee they will survive any given mission.
Book 2: Shadowed. Nick’s SEAL team is hot on the trail of a dangerous and slippery terrorist. But who’s chasing whom? And why does it seem Kaylan’s life is the one in peril?
Book 3: Surrendered. Kaylan really, really needs to learn to trust–challenging as that is, with Nick off on an extraordinarily dangerous mission just weeks before their wedding.
This whole series is remarkably captivating. I love the way the main characters hold strong faith, but struggle with tough emotions–no plastic smiles here. The mix of community, family, and romance in the story anchor us readers as we bite our nails through danger after danger. Altogether, Heart of a Warrior gets my enthusiastic recommendation as a Great Weekend Read — maybe even three weekends! You can pick up all three books via her website – click here to visit her!
Thanks for reading,
Jan
PS: I’d love to hear your book recommendations– Your comments are always welcome in the “Your Turn” box way, way down below the little blurb about me. jj
Janet, who owns Rhythm & Co. Books on the courthouse square, invited me to hold a meet-and-greet at the shop. I met some lovely people, welcomed a few longtime friends, and signed several books. I also enjoyed spending time with Janet and her guide-pup-in-training, Shanti.
June 1-2: Texas Homeschool Coalition
$1 Earrings to go with my skirt~Booth Display~With Candi Summers~
~I got to The Woodlands too early to check in at the hotel, so I had lunch at the mall and roamed around for a while. My roaming was rewarded when I found these earrings that fabulously complement my colorful Liberian skirt. (You don’t see them in the third photo because I forgot and left them in the car.)
~We five volunteers, led by BESTWA director Candi Summers, unloaded our stuff at the Convention Center exhibit hall and got set up in time before the doors opened.
~I enjoyed handing out No Small Thing info cards and bragging about how well BESTWA serves children in Liberia. A most rewarding moment of my time there was after a young teen boy asked if he could keep the information card, for his parents. Of course I said yes, and let him examine a copy of the book. After looking at the photos on the back cover he pointed to mine and asked, “Is this you? Did you write this?” He seemed impressed when I affirmed he was right, which made me feel a little like a rock star. I’m thrilled to offer a story that young men find intriguing! Another rewarding moment came some time later, when a woman stopped by our booth and asked me about BESTWA and No Small Thing. We chatted a while, and I told her my passion for the project, that Daniel’s story speaks for those who have no voice. She not only bought a copy of the book for her husband, but also thanked me for writing it.
Date TBA: Southwest Assemblies of God University
The campus bookstore manager at SAGU in Waxahachie has officially invited me to participate in a multi-author meet-and-greet-and-reading event, to he held some evening after the fall semester begins. I’m excited about some of these ministry-minded students–and maybe their professors?–absorbing Daniel’s story. After all, he is of one of their own denomination’s unknown heroes. Now, if only I could read a few scenes in Daniel’s cool African accent!
So far, I’ve visited a few places fairly close and had lots of fun. If that counts as being “on tour,” then count me in!
I’d better get back to work. The record-keeping part of the job is calling…….. which definitely does NOT make me feel like a rock star.
Note: This is the 500th post on my blog. When I realized I was about to finish my first published book AND had published 499 blog posts, I decided to wait until this project was ready, so I could tell you this story for my 500th post.
Only a few months after my visit to Liberia, Daniel and his wife, Victoria, traveled here to Texas. I got to spend hours with them, recording more stories and more detail. Soon I’d transcribed all these recordings into Word documents. A phrase Daniel often used inspired the title I wanted to give the book: No Small Thing. Over time, I settled on the subtitle: A Memoir of Uncommon Courage Through the Liberian Civil Wars.
Here are the tools, accessories, and loose parts of the biography project.
Their story is loaded with struggle and heartbreak, but also with faith and moments of triumph. (And a little bit of humor. Hey, it’s me, after all!) From the first suggestion of the project, I have felt certain that God wants this story told. So writing it up should be easy, right?
Hahahahahahahahahaha!
Oh. Sorry. >wipes tears<
Yeah, I kept running into obstacles. While I didn’t have people going around heckling me or trying to sabotage the project, I do believe there are enemies in the spiritual realm who don’t want this story told.
In a nutshell, as I wrote the events into scenes, I found I needed more detail than our initial conversations provided. Sure, I can email questions. But our language and cultural differences made it hard for Daniel to understand what I wanted to know, and for me to understand a lot of what he so faithfully told me. While I have a writing “skill set,” this nonfiction was gonna need guidance from God.
Frustrated, I called in the big guns: I went to see my prayer warrior friend, Darlene. She prayed over me, which I found greatly encouraging.
On the way home, a phrase from the Bible came to mind: “Not by might, nor by power, but by My Spirit, says the Lord.”
So I looked it up and found it comes from Zechariah (Old Testament minor prophet), chapter 4. Reading the chapter for context, I learned that a Jewish leader named Zerubbabel was hard at work building the Temple, but some people were trying to stop him. Like me, Zerubbabel was doing a God-given task, and faced obstacles.
Tools, accessories and loose parts of an Old Testament building project.
The verse I’d remembered was the beginning of God’s message of encouragement for Zerubbabel. As I read, I sensed that message had also been recorded for me and my project. I found parallels in every line:(Verse 6) “By My Spirit” — The responsibility for success was not on Zerubbabel’s shoulders (or mine), but on God’s.
(Verse 7) The message goes on: “What are you, O great mountain (obstacle)? Before Zerubbabel you will become a plain, and he will bring forth the top stone (type “The End”) with shouts of ‘Grace, grace to it!'”
(Verse 8-9) “The hands of Zerubbabel have laid the foundation of this house (interviewed and researched for this book), and his hands will finish it.”
So… my hands, God’s power? Sounds like a can’t-lose proposition. Talk about encouraging!
And then, like a cherry on top, there was verse 10: “For who has despised the day of small things?”
I kid you not, the main phrase of my working title was tucked into this same chapter.
As the country folk used to put it, “If that don’t light my fire, my wood’s wet.”
I plunged back in, did more research, emailed with Daniel who patiently countered my American assumptions, and took in feedback from faithful critique partners to make sure I wouldn’t confuse or bore the reader.
Learning curves. I’ve been surrounded by them lately.
Navigating a fun new area of volunteer work, but struggling to learn people’s names and not always sure of my responsibilities or authority.
Writing someone else’s memoirs, then trying to piece together how to self-publish the most meaningful project I’ve ever attempted.
Also scrambling to set up emailed newsletters in a format everyone can access; finally navigating the wonderful-but-mysterious world of using an online mailer service.
Then Brent proposed we sign up for Ciclismo Classico’s “Bike Across Italy” tour.
I looked at a map. “But it looks like there’s a mountain range running through the middle of the country.”
A euphoric grin spread across Brent The Voracious Climber’s face. “Yeah, there is. Don’t worry; we’ll get you an e-bike.”
If you’re not familiar, an “e-bike” has an electric motor that gives the rider a boost up hills. Or so I’d heard. I’d never actually touched one. But I’ve seen people on bikes zooming along a level or slightly uphill road… without pedaling. This seemed kind of unsafe. “Wait, what if I’m going around switchbacks and that thing sends me hurtling off a cliff?”
Too late. We were registered, bikes requested and sizes sent, airline tickets bought…
The day we met up with the tour, we all test-rode our bikes around the parking lot for a bit. Tracie, the only other female guest in our group, had also reserved an e-bike. Providentially, she also had one of her own, and knew how to work it. Good thing… I’d have to learn, because that bike was so heavy, I’d need assistance to make it up a driveway ramp, never mind 8-to-12-percent grades.
After Tracie and the guides repeatedly assured me that the motor runs only when you’re pedaling and would NOT send me hurtling off a cliff, we took off on our warm-up ride. The route went through busy traffic (couldn’t be helped, we were at a hotel in a popular vacation city), then up a long, winding hill.
At this point, multiple learning curves collided: 1) I was using my touring pedals and cleats, which I rarely use and hadn’t practiced with. 2) The bike’s gear shifting works differently from “Sully,” my current bike. It’s the same as on my old bike (“Mrs. Tweedy“), but I didn’t think to practice with that either. 3) The motor’s “off-plus-three-levels” power system operated by the same logic as a ceiling fan’s pull chain (which I rarely use and hadn’t practiced with), using only ONE button.
One almost-invisible buttonE-bike shows offJan with e-bike. Maybe we’ll be friends after all.
I maaaaaay have felt slightly overwhelmed.
At least the power levels were color-coded. If the button was lit up white, the power was off. Low power was green; Medium, orange; Max power, red. If you’re struggling uphill on Max, then the road levels out enough to use Medium, you can’t just go back one setting. You have to push the button three times: to Off, Low, Medium. If you advance too slowly, you lose all momentum while the power is off. But if you push the button too fast, it’s super easy to hit it four times instead of three, which puts you right back at Max power.
So, yeah. Learning curve(s). It was sort of like trying to hang wallpaper with one arm in a sling.
That first ride left me with serious misgivings, but the next day we had a longer stretch of quiet roads that weren’t so hilly. I soon got past the worst of the single-button awkwardness. After that, my main concern was trying to balance power levels to conserve the battery (Max drains it pretty fast) while conserving my own power (i.e., don’t kill myself by hammering too hard in an effort to keep up). Each day I felt both more efficient and more confident.
This photo shows the almost unprecedented sight of me riding ahead of Brent! Gratifying, if temporary.
The e-bike never sent me hurtling off a single cliff. And I never arrived at a lunch stop after everyone else was finished eating and about to leave*.
*Some days that was only because I rode along in the van part of the time instead of biking. Don’t judge; it’s a vacation.
As always, the Ciclismo guides made everything fun and as smooth as possible.
Your Turn: Do you feel as awkward as I do when trying unfamiliar things? Ever get flummoxed by having to learn too many new things at once? I welcome your comments in the box (or “Leave a comment” link) at the bottom of this post.
Jan C Johnson, Author 