Bing! It’s Cherry Season



The cherries are back, and so is this post from 2011. Oddly, nearly six years later, the post still gets hits. Probably from people who think I’m serious… poor, misguided creatures…



The following post originally appeared on this blog August 23, 2011.

How to Dye Your Hair a
Fashionable Shade of Magenta
Without Actually Trying

Step 1: Allow your hair to go grey. (If your hair is light blonde, either by nature or by art, you may skip this very time-consuming step.)

Step 2: Wash and dry the hair, then catch some of it back with a barrette so it doesn’t fall in your face. IMPORTANT: Grab less hair than the barrette will hold.

Step 3: Give your hair a dubious look in the mirror, then decide it will be fine.

Step 4: Go out and run errands all day, as bits of hair gradually work their way loose from the barrette and form a sort of curtain at either side of your face.

Step 5: Make sure your last stop before heading home is the grocery store.

Step 6: While in the store, notice that cherries are on sale. Buy a bag of these.

Step 7: Once back home, rinse the cherries. Observe that they look really, really ripe.

Step 8: Sigh heavily and begin to sort cherries.

Step 9: Throw any squishy or badly dinged-up cherries into a dish for later disposal, sampling freely from those that look okay.

Step 10: Bite into the questionable-but-not-obviously-damaged cherries to protect your family in case they have gone bad (in case the cherries have gone bad, not your family). Lean way over your dish so you can spit the seeds in with the throwaways.

Step 11: At some point, choose a large, soft cherry and bite it in two. Blink as cherry juice squirts all over your face, hand, countertop, and… yes… the hair hanging down by your face.

Congratulations! Your hair now has highlights in a fashionable shade of magenta. For more coverage, just keep eating cherries over the dish.

Thanks for reading,

About Jan C. Johnson

Welcome! If you like food, reading, laughing over life's little disasters, and maybe thinking about the bigger things of life, you have come to the right place. Besides blogging, I write humorous fiction, though real life tends to leave fictional humor in the shade. But I'm not a total goofball. No, really. I'm also working on a biography project. I live in North Texas with my husband, Brent. We enjoy bicycling, Mexican food, and traveling to visit our kids and grandkids.
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