How to Score “King of the Mountain” Status Without Riding a Bicycle

Tejay van Garderen won his KOM jersey in the
Tour de France. Mine was much easier…
Photo credit:

Chronically knotted muscles are no fun. I would know, because for the last 18 years or so, my left shoulder has been bunched up so it looks like the Incredible Hulk’s, compared to my right shoulder, which more closely resembles Olive Oyl’s. Also I can barely turn my head to the left, a real downer when you’re driving.

I tried chiropractors, deep tissue massage, asking one of my guys to apply stiff pressure to the epicenter.

Nothing. Still bunched up.

But this summer I started going to a local chiropractor who doesn’t mess around. He used various relaxing treatments, pummeled me, and gave me a stretchy band and instructions for exercising with it at home. After the first couple of visits, I started noticing some actual improvement. Yaaaay!

Around the same time, I noticed something else. Whenever I bicycled any distance on my road bike, “Mrs. Tweedy,” my shoulder and neck tightened up again.


Sure enough, the doc agreed that cycling puts me in the exact position he is trying to get me out of, pretty much undoing his treatment.

So, I’ve decided to take the rest of the season off the bike completely. This isn’t as grievous as you might think. After all, between the heat and the wind and the bunchy shoulder, riding hasn’t been much fun. So I’m going to work on rehab and do other forms of exercise.

But guess what I got at my last appointment… The doc used those crazy suction cups to draw blood circulation to the skin, which left my back covered with large red polka dots.

Hmmmm. Large red polka dots… sort of like a King of the Mountain jersey.

Thanks for reading!

About Jan C. Johnson

Welcome! If you like food, reading, laughing over life's little disasters, and maybe thinking about the bigger things of life, you have come to the right place. Besides blogging, I write humorous fiction, though real life tends to leave fictional humor in the shade. But I'm not a total goofball. No, really. I'm also working on a biography project. I live in North Texas with my husband, Brent. We enjoy bicycling, Mexican food, and traveling to visit our kids and grandkids.
This entry was posted in Thoughts on Two Wheels and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to How to Score “King of the Mountain” Status Without Riding a Bicycle

  1. Jeannine Johnson says:

    Very interesting, Chiropractic can really help in any kind of sports.
    Arnold used to help lots of people with muscle problems they had from sporting activity. Mom

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Pingback: 2017 In Review | Joywriting: Everybody Has a Story

Your Turn: comments welcome here.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.